MYS. TERY'S STAR LOCKS: WEEK 5
Cosmic college football picks, straight from the ultimate authority
A warm week's end welcome back to Turfman Industries' esteemed local apparition Mys. Tery, who's been college football game picks via star chart for us this season. Below, please find her Week 5 astrological forecast – as transcribed by our house medium Jamie Kirsten Howard – and please scry responsibly. (If you have no idea what you're looking at, or want to know more about our methodology on this little experiment, start here.)
2026 season record: 19–9.
Outlook for Week 5
Are you anxious or just twitterpated, star-seeker? Either is a disruption to the nervous system. This weekend puts our hearts in a jar and shakes vigorously. Venus, ruler of Libra (where the Sun currently sits), stations retrograde on Saturday morning. Hot streaks cool. Sure things feel less so. Then comes the steam promised a fortnight ago: Mars, fully aflame in Leo, all but guarantees brute force and flared tempers. Cosmically, we’re all at cross-purposes. Mixed signals read as flirty and fun – until someone gets hurt.
