CHANNEL 6 CIRCULAR: WHERE TO FIND US IN WEEK 11
But first: How to fix everything.
Welcome to the Channel 6 Circular, our in-season replacement for TRL. For the 2026 college football season, this Friday newsletter will catch you up on what we've been writing this week, as well as let you know about any other places you can find our enormous heads and voices on the internet.
You can read last week's circular here. If you'd like to know which college football teams are currently stranded en route to their Week 11 destinations, the Athletic has a running tally going here.
But first: A brief digression on how to fix everything else.
Unlike some pundits, everything we’ve said in our time pedaling this contraption is exactly what we believe, and no more: the stupid, the very smart, the obviously insane, it’s all 100% ours, and more right in the long run than anyone could have predicted.
For instance: Did we know Jensen Huang was an immense dumbass just because he wore a leather jacket? No, but it gave us a solid data point, and further strengthened our belief that “dude who wears leather jacket = immense dumbass.” Immense dumbass studies forums are going crazy about it, and frankly, they should be.
So when a big political shift in both houses of Congress happens, we see opportunity. Correction: We see specific opportunities, ones we’re more than happy to see enforced by federal law if that’s what it takes.
SPENCER: Some might object to using the federal government to enforce personal vendettas against companies. My response: It’s popular enough that I’ve seen that exact platform get elected by large margins to many different important offices in my lifetime. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, yes, unless it’s me. Then I’m absolutely cool with it, via being built different.
The initial agenda for our administration includes, but is not limited to:
TICKETS RESOLD AT FACE VALUE ONLY. First, we’re bankrupting any and all companies that “create value.” This is code for “charges for something that used to be free, or raises prices on commodities without actually adding value.”
None of these companies matter or will be missed. We don’t even have to make up legislation! Just do what the UK did last year, and establish caps on resales. It’ll be amazing just how much no one will care about StubHub getting blipped into nonexistence overnight.
(On-street scalpers can live, though, because we respect small business owners.)
THE PROTECT COLLEGE SPORTS ACT DIES. IMMEDIATELY. We love low-effort victories we can later claim we had something to do with. This ungainly, anti-labor, and unloved piece of legislation might have been headed for the glue factory even before the entire legislative branch flipped.
Now, with a lame duck session facing a pile of vastly more important and/or scandalous bills, the PCSA is as good as dead. But what’s the fix? Doing nothing, that’s what. A pipeline full of ongoing lawsuits will decimate what’s left of amateurism. The Supreme Court won’t intervene, and is on the record saying no business in America should be allowed to function like
With the NCAA reduced to rubble, schools will run out of blinds to hide behind. Then, they either figure their shit out at the conference level with labor, or they get out of the business altogether.
This is the easiest part of the platform to pitch to Congress: Please do nothing, and then take immediate credit for it when all parties figure out a mostly reasonable way to work together. It’s a win-win, or a win-win-win if you consider it makes Ted Cruz look (somehow even more) like the roach turd he is.
FEDERAL FUNDING FOR TAILGATE-ENHANCING RAILROADS (aka THE SILVER BRITCHES ACT). Just going to keep hammering this one on the door of Congress until someone sees the light and passes it. No one will win with the notion of federally subsidizing high-speed rail more, because it benefits everyone. People hate it when one person they don’t like gets something nice, and high-speed trains by definition are a very, very nice thing.
We’ve argued for years that the only way to sell high-speed rail to Americans is simple: Place the lines close to major football stadiums (pro and college, we’re inclusive here.) Then lead by reminding everyone they can travel to a football game, get shithammered in a seated position, and do both without having to drive themselves anywhere or endure passing through the filthy lower intestines of an American airport. What a total lack of concept of other people and the social good can’t do, convenience will.
BAN SPORTS GAMBLING ADVERTISING ON TELEVISION. When sports gambling became possible on a phone, we thought it was fine and maybe even fun. It turns out that while gambling is generally bad but tolerable as a localized vice, gambling on your phone is very, very, very bad all the time, and intolerable as a generalized vice.
Getting the apps banned from phones feels like a ten year war. Banning the advertising of gambling apps, though? That feels more doable in the short term. It also carries a benefit that is its own pitch: You’ll never have to see a Draft Kings or Fanduel ad on television ever again.
BAN REPLAY. The most ADHD-driven pitch here, but we’ll ride it to hell: Instant replay has not improved the game of football. For every call reversed or upheld correctly, there are five instances of tacking on twenty minutes to the game for no reason.
Missing calls is part of any officiated game’s reality. Hell, we miss calls now with replay, including two instances this season where through the magic of replay it took ten minutes to figure out whether there was one second on the game clock or not. It’s possible we’re too stupid to use replay as a species, or the technology’s simply not efficient enough yet. Either way, it sucks out loud, and mostly makes things worse.
TRANSFER FEES FOR COLLEGE SPORTS. Transfer fees will be the best way to ensure the Big Ten and SEC don’t completely loot the rest of college football for talent without everyone else getting some benefit from the plunder. If Ferris State puts some time and effort into supporting and developing a Trinidad Chambliss, then let’s see LSU compensate them for that.
Trinidad gets a piece, too, in our scenario, in addition to his NIL. If LSU can afford to keep a live tiger in a special house next to the stadium and Lane Kiffin, they can afford this, too.
Oh, but we’ll have to think of pricing, contracts, and all these other details! Too bad! Figure that shit out yourselves! The revolution isn’t coming, it’s already here, and you’re asking us about the goddamn details like they’re real? The road goes thataway. Go work out how to put some asphalt on it.
REPORT TO THE STAKEHOLDERS
✨✨✨ If you're currently paying us $10/month or $100/year for full access to Channel 6, scroll past the next bird photo you see to find login details for WEBINAR!, our Saturday pregame live chat show.✨✨✨
To business! Here are TWO THINGS we've already written this week:
Spencer Hall
Jamie Howard
THING THREE is this newsletter right here – the top half of which is free to read via our email list – and THING FOUR will be WEBINAR!, our Saturday morning pregame live chat. Details for accessing the chat can be found after the paywall jump further down below.
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Here's everywhere else we popped up this week:
🎙️ Fullcast After Dark, Week 10: Introducing a horrifying new character, Big Ten Kermit! (Fullcast After Dark is free to listen live on streaming and replays on Patreon for $4/month)
🎙️ In Tuesday's episode of the Shutdown Fullcast, we veered into fintech with our guest/grandchild Alex Kirshner. (Regular midweek Shutdown Fullcast episodes are available free to listeners, as always)
Those of you on our free email list are about to see a paywall jump; the back half of this newsletter contains the invitation link and details for Thing 4 of Week 11: WEBINAR, our weekly stakeholders-only Saturday morning pregame chat show. Joining us this week will be once-and-future queen of The Atlantic Amanda Mull. Here's a hint of what we might find to talk about!
If you'd like to join a paid tier of Ch6 membership (again, that’s two things a week for either $10 a month or $100 for a year), you can join us for these live hangouts all season long, as well as gain access to everything we put out on Channel 6 platforms PLUS the entire back catalog.
And if this is where we leave you for the week, thanks for reading. As is customary, we would like you to have this picture of a bird for a parting gift:
