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Rankings

TOP WHATEVER: CHRISTMAS EDITION

We’re past the formalities of adding nutmeg and spices, aren’t we? We don’t have to pretend.

Photo by Mariana B. / Unsplash

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MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - OCTOBER 03: Rhyland Kelly #18 of the Minnesota Golden Gophers reacts during the first half against the Michigan Wolverines at TCF Bank Stadium on October 03, 2026 in

THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK FIVE

A sugar beet is not a potato. It does not require love, nor does it have anything to do with the outcome of this game.

ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN - SEPTEMBER 26: Andrew Marsh #3 of the Michigan Wolverines can't pull in a first half touchdown catch against Jaylen Watson #3 of the Iowa Hawkeyes at Michigan Stadium on

THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK FOUR

Eat shit, America; here’s Iowa football.

OXFORD, MISSISSIPPI - SEPTEMBER 19: Head coach Lane Kiffin of the Louisiana State Tigers takes the field before the game against the Mississippi Rebels at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium on Septembe

THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK THREE

JUST FALL DOWN.