THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK NINE
Thanks to a mostly boneless ACC, we won’t see a properly stress-tested Canes team until the playoff.
The Top Whatever is our method of ranking teams, concepts, people, dogs, or whatever else we like during the college football season. This week features the most trustworthy team in college football, a team that played a game you definitely slept through, and a repeated but necessary warning to stay out of the way of one team whose mascot is an old and very grumpy man.
Enjoy, and remember: If we didn’t rank your team, it’s because we don’t like them, and pray every day for their eventual downfall.
ONE: THE RELIABLE, STEADY PERFORMANCE OF LINCOLN RILEY’S USC TROJANS. Would you look at that! A clean, efficient 30-18 win over the #2 Buckeyes, validating what everyone has been saying about Lincoln Riley teams forever: They just play great defense, run the ball, and win football games.
