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THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK SEVEN

Texas exists as a parody of a lottery winner: unimaginative in their tastes and underwhelmed with their results

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THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK SIX

THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK SIX

Play the heel, get heel heat, baby!

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - OCTOBER 03: Rhyland Kelly #18 of the Minnesota Golden Gophers reacts during the first half against the Michigan Wolverines at TCF Bank Stadium on October 03, 2026 in

THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK FIVE

A sugar beet is not a potato. It does not require love, nor does it have anything to do with the outcome of this game.

ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN - SEPTEMBER 26: Andrew Marsh #3 of the Michigan Wolverines can't pull in a first half touchdown catch against Jaylen Watson #3 of the Iowa Hawkeyes at Michigan Stadium on

THE 2026 TOP WHATEVER: WEEK FOUR

Eat shit, America; here’s Iowa football.